Ch. 6: The Awakening — Summer Showers

I remember taking the bus to work and sometimes just standing there, staring vacantly at the houses opposite the bus stop, and without realizing it, tears would trickle down my cheeks. I would think, “Why am I crying? I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t fine. I didn’t even know where I was going to live. I couldn’t stay with my cousin forever. I thought, “You have to figure something out, Aden.”

But my mind wouldn’t let me. I was too focused on the failure of my relationship and the many losses I had experienced…

I am finding my joy in the release
I am freeing myself from my self-imposed memories and fears of losing you
I am choosing myself over your demons and impenetrable heart
No longer giving my days to you in anxious expectancy of your return
I am dialing back my frequency to that of peace and ecstasy
Drowning out your false love and broken promises with my admiration and wellbeing
No more time invested in one-sided love encounters and connections for, I have awakened to love; and self-respect
I am ceasing the endless love chase for the game must come to an…

When action speaks volumes

It is with a heavy heart I let go once and for all
I have done all I can to speak to you about your offenses to my soul and heart
I have attempted to teach you the lessons and yet have failed to get through to your heart
My words have gone unheard
My actions had gone unnoticed
My plea has gone unanswered
It is time to move on
I will choose my self-respect not by words but by my deeds
No more waiting
No more hoping
No more wasting my time and resources on your mixed signals and vague intentions
I understand…

Your grace is sufficient enough.
My peace comes from your soothing waters of life.
Your spirit is all the strength I need and desire.
I will submit my cares to you with thanksgiving.
I will not hold back from the gifts of love you desire to gift me.
Your aura of light is all the illumination I need amidst my darkened thoughts and trials.
I will seek your residence of peace and purity in all the moments of my earthly life.
My soul yearns for communion, as nothing else can truly satisfy my urges.
I will wait patiently at the intersection of my life for you to…

Acts of surrender and serenity amidst the storm

I will sit this through
No more running
No more hiding from my problems and trials
I will sit this through
I will not retaliate like I used to
Yes I have found peace in my pressure
Indeed I have found clarity in the chaos
I will not let my emotions take me, hostage
I will let the storms and tidal waves pass
The enemy will not divert my divine focus and purpose in this lifetime
I will sit this through
I will let the discomfort get space to express itself
I will keep my mouth shut for the enemy is waiting for…

Yes, you read that clearly; I am worthy by default.
Take heed, for I have been designed by the master architect of divine perfection.
I was the blueprint of glory long before I came to be
I have been tailor-made to bring light and love to the world so, make no mistake in my design and abilities.
There is not an ounce of imperfection that my maker has created for; He is the artist of brilliance.
The lies of unworthiness no longer ring true to my soul for, I have risen from the dead.
The thoughts of self-hate and depreciation have been retired…